And I will try to fix you...

If you’re familiar with Coldplay, then you’ll recognize that the title of this blog comes from one of their songs.   The song lyrics actually have nothing to do with the topic of this blog- but are yet so fitting.

Hopefully you would have read my previous blog post titled: relationship 101: The art of pursuit (If you haven’t I highly recommend that you do.  It will change your life.  Ok, maybe not but it’s still worth reading.) Some people shudder at the thought of singleness, but it is a topic that always shows it’s face. And for anyone who has been single for a period of time and is now seeing their friends get married, talk about mortgage payments, and decide what colour they should paint the nursery, it can make you feel like the world is spinning around you while you’re standing still.

This year I attended my first engagement party and my first hen night.  I was completely none the wiser with what to expect- all I knew from what I’d seen on TV (primarily Eastenders) that hen nights usually involved a male stripper dressed as a policeman/ fire fighter [Insert uniform of choice here] but alas- there was none of that and we all did still manage to have a wonderful time.   What I did notice though, that out of all the women who were in attendance that night a good 90% of them were either married, engaged or in a relationship.  But the crux of the matter was that all of these women were not much older than me. 

I left the hen night asking myself if they were moving too fast or if I was moving too slow? One of the biggest misconceptions about being single, especially as a Christian single, is that when you reach a certain stage in life and no-one is on the horizon yet- sometimes you can be made to be the problem. 
Singleness is a period of time in which we can better ourselves by falling back in love with our first love- Jesus.  Throughout life it is easy to take our eyes off the cross and be consumed by other things.  Embracing the time set apart during singleness is not always easy but in doing so, it causes us to become more Christ like so that those characteristics or traits that are an unknown hindrance to us and others can be moved- making us a more presentable image to the lucky man or woman that will eventually take our hand in marriage. 

In the past friends of mine, who out of concern about me being single have suggested setting me up on dates with guys I know would be no good for me, or suggest that I try to wear my hair in a different style or even update my wardrobe to attract men. Now, while change is good- if you’re comfortable in who you are in Christ then you don’t need anyone else to try and fix you. 

Everyone can be so quick to put their two cents in about why so- and so is still single or always without a date but ultimately, not everyone needs fixing. Sometimes we just need tweaking or pruning or better still we just need time to mature.

We must remember that heat, pressure and time forms the diamond.  And because we value it’s worth anyone would be willing to pay the assigned price. So if we can value diamonds so much, how much more our own lives?   

I came.  I saw.  I blog. 

Ruthie x

P.S: If you want to read more about the topic of singleness from a female perspective How to be found by the man you’re looking for by Michelle McKinney- Hammond is a brilliant, quick and practical read.  I highly recommend it.