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On the afternoon of my 22nd birthday, I received a text message from a close friend wishing me a happy birthday. I just happened to be in an important lecture where playing with phones/ sending text messages was forbidden but with my overall giddiness of my special day, I rebelled and kept on reading. Besides wishing all the happiness in the world and giving me advice to make sure that I enjoyed the day, she also told me that at 22 I would begin to feel more like a woman. I laughed when I read that. And I told her in the response to her text that her words had made me chuckle. Especially all that silly talk about becoming a woman.
Womanhood is marked by different events and ages depending on your culture. If you’re Jewish it may be the verified by a bar mitzvah or for some the moment that you turn eighteen or begin your menstrual cycle you have unknowingly stepped into womanhood. I can say that I have always felt and acted feminine. I like girly things like trinkets, cute babies, rom-com movies and although it is not my favourite colour in the world I’m not anti- colour pink. But after being posed with this idea that at 22 I would begin to feel more like a woman I asked myself if I was still a girl or had I transitioned into womanhood without even noticing? For I didn’t feel like a girl. I no longer wore ribbons in my hair or played with dolls yet I’m not the CEO of a multimillion pound company (yet!) or a housewife baking cookies in the kitchen. So I must be lying somewhere in the in-between.
In this year just gone by, I have learnt more about myself that in the last 20 plus years of my life thus far. Because of the unexpected events and changes that have taken place beyond my control. Although not out of choice, I have been thrust into different settings and surroundings where I had to learn to adjust, something that I really did not believe would be an major issue.
I’ve also learnt that although I like a cherish my own space- I’m not terribly fond of being alone. Something I would have never have known had it not been for this year. I like having people around me. Whether they be sitting next to me on the train or being present in the adjacent room- I like to know that they are near. They don’t have to say a word to me but their presence is enough for comfort. I’d never been able to answer the question of how many children I would like to have in the future but now knowing and understanding how I am, I can now conclusively say at the very least I want three- because I like the having people around me.
I don’t really eat bread or drink milk. It’s random- I know. But if we are honest these two items are the two staples that you are guaranteed to find in any home. I , however, after living away from home and doing my own grocery shopping noticed that for all the loaves of bread and pints of milk I was buying- I was never consuming them at a quick enough rate. They would just sit in the fridge growing mould or becoming curdled. I was a creature of habit.
I love culture: Something I guess I’d always known but have just received even more confirmation of. I like to know how tradition and ways of live differ between races and people. And in doing so I’m becoming less consumed with just my own method of living, with my list of places to visit expanding rapidly.
I wouldn’t have said that before turning twenty- two that I was immature and irresponsible, however, as much I probably hate to admit it I was still pretty much cushioned and rapped up in cotton wool that those around me had lovingly kept me in to try and keep out the perils of this world. But at some point you have to let go and begin to make decisions for yourself regardless of what anybody else says or thinks. If we don’t- then how will we ever learn?
I don’t believe that there is a direct time in which we advance in to woman. Womanhood to me is a mind-set where you come to the full realisation that you’re mature enough to make decisions on your own accord and face up to the consequences of those decisions. Some become women at thirteen, albeit reluctantly. Others are well into their thirties and trying to maintain that party girl lifestyle- with a defiant refusal to grown up (So aptly described by Ms Amy Winehouse in her song F Me Pumps.)
But ultimately, womanhood is what you make it- depending on whether or not you choose to accept it.
I came. I saw. I blog.
Ruthie x
