It's not you- It's me

[Sourced from Google]

In an aim to live up the title of this blog I’m forcing myself to write about things within life that build me up/ break me down and change me from the inside out. Situations may come and go, but I’m learning that it’s how we deal with them that really matters. We can spend so much time feeling frustrated about a issue that we fail to get the core of the matter. And, eventually when we stop throwing our toys out the pram and take a moment to evaluate the scenario, it can be horrifying and often off putting to realise that there is a rather large slice of humble pie we need to swallow.

There used to be a programme I watched as a kid called Bernard's watch. Basically, a boy called Bernard had a magic watch that could pause time at any moment. So whatever the situation he could deal with it by using the clock and ultimately buy himself free time. I know that I was not the only child who would watch that programme and wish I had access to that watch. There were many of us who would have given our dinner money, Pokémon cards and then some just to have Bernard's watch. But I grew older. And then I realised that the programme was just a method of trying to engulf me as a child and make use (and money off) of my child like imagination. Yet, life has taught me that time is not my own. I cannot control it no matter how much I try. Realising that hurt me, like a harsh slap right across the face.

I cannot fast forward. rewind or pause time. I don’t have Bernard’s watch. I just have to wait. Patiently. The highest order of discipline is patience. Although things may not be following the path and route that I would hope for it doesn’t mean that just because it hasn’t happened yet that it won’t eventually.

“For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end [fulfilment]; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait [earnestly] for it, because it will surely come; it will not be behindhand on its appointed day.”

Habakkuk 2:3 (Amplified Bible)

Believe me, the above are the last words that I wish to hear right now because in the words of Sunshine Anderson, “I’ve heard it all before”. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. But sometimes, we need to hear these words again and again just so it can be re-enforced before we put ourselves back to square one.

So, even though there is a mountain of snotty nosed and tear stained tissues beside me as I write this, my beautiful struggle is teaching me on this sun shining morning, that whatever the situation- God’s timing is always perfect. Not a minute more, not a minute later. I just need to keep my eyes on the vision- because I know that one day I’ll look back and read this blog again and be able to replace my tears of frustration for tears of joy.

Be encouraged.

I came. I saw. I blog.

Ruthie x

White men can't jump - Black men can't swim

Whenever someone starts a sentence with the words, “I’m not being racist”, it sends a shudder down my vertebrae because I fear what's coming next.

For as long as I can remember, I have always been the ‘minority’- whether it be in school, where I grew up, and even university and shockingly for a lot of people I had the pleasure of rubbing shoulders with during the years, I was the first ‘official’ black person they had ever met or formed a friendship with. Besides the obvious high flyers they knew from television and film which primarily was either Will Smith and or Whoopi Goldberg (Throwback moment: I will never forget the time that some sad soul announced quite publicly in the school playground that I resembled Whoopi and my brother Will Smith. Will Smith is quite a catch and being compared to him is honourable- but Whoopi Goldberg!? (much respect for her acting skills) but my braids could not have been that nappy to mistake them for Whoopi’s dreads) many were totally unaware of other successful black celebrities besides Whoopi and Will. Yet, alongside all that for some reason there is this belief that as we become more and more P.C the use of the “I’m not being racist” tag is merely a mechanism of safety just in case we become accused of an offense that we genuinely did not intend.
Contrary to that, there are some who use the term to actually cover up their underlying feelings of a particular race and in actual fact the P.C rules become their saving grace because now they can probably get away with voicing things after using the prefix of “I’m not being racist” - just like the guys trying to hide their emotions with the “No- homo” saying that is floating around.

Woody Harrelson & Wesley Snipes in the 1992 movie, “White Men Can’t Jump”

[picture sourced from google]

Some people are uncomfortable when things don’t fit the norm, especially in a social/ racial setting. It’s that awkward moment when you find out that the Asian guy in your halls is studying for his PhD in English Literature and American studies, (not maths or science) and that his parents are estate agents (not shopkeepers) who were born in Kenya (not Pakistan). Or even more so, when you find out that the guy in the office who resembles Rodney from Only fools and horses and looks a bit like a geezer reveals to you that he is actually quite fond the theatre and then gives you his thoughts on the last book he read - Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart. Some of us, if faced with these situations, would not know what to do with ourselves, for a while we’d look a little shifty, unsure of how to stand and where to direct our eyes and all because our ideology of a particular race has been squashed flat.

Scientific studies have shown that the black race has a greater bone density than the white community,and thus, is one of the reasons behind why many black people do not take to water as would a fish. It’s also known that a majority of black people are more likely to be lactose intolerant because of the decline of the enzyme lactase (that is responsible for the breakdown of dairy products) throughout childhood . Does that mean we should all boycott buying milk? When Justin Timberlake broke solo from N*Sync and released his debut everyone was in shock and awe when they saw a white boy dance like black man- but he is living proof that white boys can dance (well some of them anyway :o)

The root of the swimming issue is a generational defect. In order to save themselves and in some cases to cover up their own inability to swim many black elders would warn their children never to go to the river or lake unless they intended on drowning because they knew that if they ever did they were not within a position to save them. So this fear has been passed down from generation to generation to the point where black people will quite willingly declare, “ Black people and water don’t mix”. But the more we repeat this, the more we believe it and we’re only teaching people how we should be treated. However, had swimming become part of our recreational culture alongside, dance and music- maybe the starting blocks at national swimming galas would have a couple more black faces peering into the blue water.

This is not just a black thing, it’s not just a white thing and it’s not just an Asian thing- its a people thing. And if we don’t seek to rectify the misconceptions that people may have of our races then we are only fuelling their belief of a bunch of lies that will only starve them from the truth that is out there. Rather, what we need to question is whether people see us and then associate all the restrictions of things that we cannot do based on our race: or do people see us and then see everything that we could possibly become?

Whoever coined the term, ‘White men can’t jump’ definitely had their tongue firmly placed in their cheek- but I believe the meaning behind it is deeper than just the superficial. For every race there are unchartered territories that communities are yet to leave their footprint on and the main reason why it hasn’t happened already is because they are under the notion they can’t. When in reality all we really need is someone to lead the way so the rest can follow suit.

[picture sourced from google]

(Cullen Jones: American freestyle sprint swimmer and Olympic gold medallist teaching children how to swim)

I came. I saw. I blog.

Ruthie x

A poem about weed

*** WARNING! What you are about to hear will blow your mind ! You have been warned in advance ***

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