To some extend even writing this post was a struggle and I didn’t want to do the clichéd thing of writing blog posts about Christmas and New Year just for the sake of it. I wanted what I write to have meaning behind it and not just be mere words. Yet at this hour I can’t get back to sleep. And when I wake up in the middle of the night with episodes like this- I find myself switching on my laptop and typing away.
I don’t even know how this particular blog will turn out all I know is that there will be a beginning and and an end and something in between. So forgive me now if I end up rambling.
It is inevitable in this last week of 2011 not to think back at the rest of the year. It really has been a ‘blink and you miss it’ 12 months. And I have been pondering the one word that really rings out to me is ‘Sustenance’ Psalm 3:5 “I lay down and sleep and I awake for the Lord sustains me”. I cannot sustain myself. It is not me who is responsible for waking up the last three hundred and sixty something days. It’s been God. The revelation of that has only just hit me, That God would be so gracious enough to spare my life every day this year even with all my multiple flaws and mistakes. Grace and Mercy have never meant more.
As with any new year I see it as a fresh start. A chance to grow from the mistakes and make changes for the better. Yet there are two things that I’m aiming for in 2012-
Laughter
I vow to laugh more in 2012. Not just a chuckle or ‘ha ha he he’ I’m talking ‘bottom of your belly’/’tears rolling down your face’ laughter. I can count on one hand how many times I laughed so hard I almost released my bladder contents in 2011. At what point did I become so serious that I forgot to laugh. And the thing is that I see myself as a relatively easy going person but the funny seems to have been sucked out of me. It needs to be re-injected in 2012, no two ways about it.
Movement
When I was a couple of years younger and in school, I was so unaware of the fact that my friends and I as we were wouldn’t all be together at one time and place but this thing called ‘life’ happens. We go our separate ways, start careers, relationships and change. Some for the better others for the worst. But ultimately we grow. I believe that any growth is better than no growth. It’s better that a plant grows, albeit in the wrong direction, because at least you can nurture it and a guide it to grow straight if it has a tendency to lean to the side. Things can get in the way. Work, Jobs. People. And sometimes we cannot see it because we’ve grown so accustomed to things being that way we’ve adjusted around it- like the ivy plant. I realise now that in order for me to have movement and growth in 2012, some people had to go.
Sometimes people have to be moved because their aura was stunting our growth but often we cannot see it. Revelation 5:2 “Behold I am doing something new.” That is exactly what is happening. Something new is taking place.
As always,
I came. I saw. I blog.
Ruthie x
