It's not you- It's me

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In an aim to live up the title of this blog I’m forcing myself to write about things within life that build me up/ break me down and change me from the inside out. Situations may come and go, but I’m learning that it’s how we deal with them that really matters. We can spend so much time feeling frustrated about a issue that we fail to get the core of the matter. And, eventually when we stop throwing our toys out the pram and take a moment to evaluate the scenario, it can be horrifying and often off putting to realise that there is a rather large slice of humble pie we need to swallow.

There used to be a programme I watched as a kid called Bernard's watch. Basically, a boy called Bernard had a magic watch that could pause time at any moment. So whatever the situation he could deal with it by using the clock and ultimately buy himself free time. I know that I was not the only child who would watch that programme and wish I had access to that watch. There were many of us who would have given our dinner money, Pokémon cards and then some just to have Bernard's watch. But I grew older. And then I realised that the programme was just a method of trying to engulf me as a child and make use (and money off) of my child like imagination. Yet, life has taught me that time is not my own. I cannot control it no matter how much I try. Realising that hurt me, like a harsh slap right across the face.

I cannot fast forward. rewind or pause time. I don’t have Bernard’s watch. I just have to wait. Patiently. The highest order of discipline is patience. Although things may not be following the path and route that I would hope for it doesn’t mean that just because it hasn’t happened yet that it won’t eventually.

“For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end [fulfilment]; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait [earnestly] for it, because it will surely come; it will not be behindhand on its appointed day.”

Habakkuk 2:3 (Amplified Bible)

Believe me, the above are the last words that I wish to hear right now because in the words of Sunshine Anderson, “I’ve heard it all before”. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. But sometimes, we need to hear these words again and again just so it can be re-enforced before we put ourselves back to square one.

So, even though there is a mountain of snotty nosed and tear stained tissues beside me as I write this, my beautiful struggle is teaching me on this sun shining morning, that whatever the situation- God’s timing is always perfect. Not a minute more, not a minute later. I just need to keep my eyes on the vision- because I know that one day I’ll look back and read this blog again and be able to replace my tears of frustration for tears of joy.

Be encouraged.

I came. I saw. I blog.

Ruthie x